True but thats because hes a fetus.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
