I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
