I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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