I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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