this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
