trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
