Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
