I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
