Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize