i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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