That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
