margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
