I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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