oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
