So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
