i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
