how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
