I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
