Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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