I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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