He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
