Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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