His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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