He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
