1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
