oh god the rape fog is back!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
