Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
