i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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