grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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