Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
