is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
