Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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