drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
