Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
