She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
