Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
