I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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