Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
