she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
