I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
