if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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