It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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