Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
