I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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