Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
