My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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