For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
