the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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