The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my vag is so smooth its legendary
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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