If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My Sexting was not on an AP level
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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