So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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