OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
