Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
