He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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