I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
