My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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