where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
