Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Randomize