I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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