using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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