the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
