Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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