whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
