We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
pray to the hookup gods
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
