no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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